Aim For a Few Good Moments
By Tana M. Mann Easton, Lead Efficiency Engineer
The holiday season is such an idealized time of year in my mind. If I’m not careful in managing my expectations, I can unwittingly create disappointment in myself that is completely unnecessary.
I have an active and vivid imagination. With every gift that I buy for someone, I imagine how much they are going to like it. With every activity I plan, I can visualize everyone having fun participating. If I don’t stop and actively remind myself that I don’t have any control over how people will act, then I might find myself being disappointed if a child doesn’t seem to love the gift I handmade for them or if no one is really interested in an activity I was sure would be a hit. My perfectionist-leaning brain loves to imagine romanticized scenes of complete familial bliss with everyone unequivocally happy and bursting with gratitude.
But these fanciful pictures in my head are not realistic. Humans get tired and hungry and don’t always react the way I think they will. So, every holiday season, I consciously adjust my expectations and aim for a few good moments. I let go of the need to have things happen in a certain way. If a child opens a gift that I was sure they would love and they quickly glance at it and throw it aside to open the next thing, I remind myself that kids love to open gifts quickly and that the thought and love I put into the gift isn’t wasted. If people aren’t interested in an activity I would enjoy, then I flow with whatever they would be interested in. When I’m in the presence of people I love, there are inevitably going to be a few great, lasting memories no matter how much I try to orchestrate my surroundings. The great moments each year are usually unpredictable. Sometimes it’s an impromptu dance party with the kids to Christmas songs. Other times it’s a quiet afternoon baking cookies with my mom or the glow of the Christmas tree as my family all cuddles on the couch watching a Christmas movie or quietly chatting with my sister while we put a puzzle together. The holiday season doesn’t have to be one long loving tableau of delight. I tell myself to welcome the highs and the lows because they will both be stitched in the fabric of memories that I carry with me into the future.
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Gratefully Yours,
Focus to Evolve Team