Decide Again
By Tana M. Mann Easton, Lead Efficiency Engineer
On a recent podcast episode, life coach Brooke Castillo was encouraging people to participate in a concept she calls “deciding again.” As Brooke explains, every year, she urges people to decide everything in your life again – who you want to be, your goals, where you live, how you dress, what you look like. This way if you’re trying to grow in your life, then you have a mechanism to at least yearly examine your life and not live by default in what you’ve always done and who you’ve always been.
She further explains you don’t need to change anything, even if you wouldn’t decide to have your current life again. But at least you can be truthful with yourself and know that you may want certain changes in your life, but you’re not going to pursue them. Instead of wasting time and energy constantly lamenting the unwanted aspects of your life, you can consciously remind yourself that you’re deciding to not change those aspects because you want them more than you don’t want them if you’re unwilling to change them.
In my own life, I’ve benefitted from this “decide again” concept a lot in my marriage. When my husband and I met over 14 years ago, we had very open communication and made sure we understood that we’re never stuck together. We met in our late twenties, and we were both very happy people as individuals. We explicitly stated that we know how to be happy apart, so if we’re together, it’s because we want to be together. Every year around our wedding anniversary we discuss our relationship and if we would decide again on our marriage. And happily, we’ve both been in agreement that we would marry each other all over again.
For me, the “decide again” mentality opens up a lot of spaciousness in my mind. It’s a mental exercise that reminds me that as an adult, I’ve chosen the details of my life and at any time I can change my mind and choose something else. If I look at every year, or even every day, as a blank page that I get to fill with whatever I want, then I have a harder time feeling stuck in my life. Reminding myself of my agency and my choices help me move toward becoming more and more of the person I want to be. If there are pieces of your life that you wouldn’t decide again, are there any changes you can make in the new year to bring you closer to your preferences? Every day can be a blank page.
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Sincerely Yours,
Focus to Evolve Team