Be Specific With Your Praise
By Tana M. Mann Easton, Lead Efficiency Engineer
A wonderful policy I have adopted in my life is being specific with my praise. Instead of saying a generic good job, I add details of what I specifically appreciate or admire about the people in my sphere. I know that when people tell me specifics of what they appreciate about me, I feel seen and the praise sinks in deeper. Others have told me this is the case for them as well, so I make a point to add those details when I praise others. My young son is often on the other end of my praise. One day we were out biking with some of his neighborhood friends. One of the children fell off his bike, and my son stopped riding, asked the friend if he was alright, and helped him get back on his bike. After we were done riding, I let my son know that I thought it was kind of him to stop and make sure his friend was ok and help him with his bike. My son shyly beamed at the praise. I didn’t just tell him he did a good job riding with his friends. I talked to him about a specific instance of kindness on his part. I try to make a point of pointing out specific instances of kindness and other good behavior with all of the children I encounter in my life.
Instead of thanking your dad on Father’s Day, why not specifically thank him for always showing up to watch your basketball games growing up or giving you cab money when you moved away from home and didn’t have a lot of money.
On your anniversary with your significant other, instead of wishing them a Happy Anniversary, why not specifically detail some of the acts they performed in the last year that you appreciated: like being the person who buys the groceries since that’s not something you enjoy or fixing all of the electronic devices in the house whenever they malfunction without complaint.
At work, if a greeting card is passed around the office for a work anniversary or a birthday, instead of simply writing, “Happy Birthday” or “Happy Anniversary,” why not give it a little thought and express your gratitude for the way their humor brightens up your day or how their help with a specific project really took a weight off your shoulders.
I notice that when I am intentional about seeing the specific kindnesses that people bestow on me that they’re not hard to find. And passing on my specific appreciation lets the people in my life know that I really see them, and I appreciate them.
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Sincerely Yours,
Focus to Evolve Team