Deep Dive Series: The Power of No Through Positive Framing of Boundaries
By Tana M. Mann Easton, Lead Efficiency Engineer
Many of us avoid saying no and establishing boundaries in our lives because a no is framed as negative. However, baked into many seemingly “negative” boundaries is often a positive way to frame it.
For example, let’s say I decide that I’m not going to work on weekends or Wednesdays. If people ask for my availability, I could say that I don’t work on Wednesdays. But that statement is a negative framing of my boundaries. Instead, I can let people know that I’m available Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. That declaration is a positive framing of my boundaries. It doesn’t emphasize what I’m withholding. It emphasizes what I’m giving.
As another example, imagine a professor. This professor loves research and writing and teaching and loathes email because it feels like a very low priority distraction from her meaningful work. So the first day of each new class, the professor communicates her boundaries. She could frame her boundary negatively and highlight the fact that she doesn’t communicate via email. Or she can positively frame the conversation by explaining her priorities and posting when her office hours are and how to schedule with her.
Here again is an example of a way to say no without ever actually uttering the word. If you have to say no, brainstorm to see if there is a positive framing that you can communicate instead.
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Sincerely Yours,
Focus to Evolve Team