Thoughts/Feelings I No Longer Waste Time On: Worry
By Tana M. Mann Easton, Lead Efficiency Engineer
In my past couple blog posts, I’ve written about living the sage advice now. Another regret that our elders reveal in order to help us avoid it is, “I wish I had worried less.”
David Mamet said, “Worry is interest paid in advance on a debt that never comes due.” The day that I heard that quote, my life changed. I had an AHA moment and deeply recognized the truth in that statement. When I examine my own thoughts, the thoughts of worry that appear in my mind have almost always been about perceived future events that never actually happened. And in the rare occurrence that the future trouble did come to pass, I realized that the time and energy that I spent simply worrying about it didn’t actually help me at all.
So now, I try my very hardest to no longer waste time on worry. If I notice worrying thoughts in my head or feel anxiety, I am training myself to stop and reflect. I ask myself, "Am I in danger right now, in this moment?"
If I’m not (which is almost always the case), I ask myself, "Is this anxiety here to help me act on something that I know I need to do?" For example, if I have a presentation coming up in the future that I haven’t prepared for yet, the anxiety is showing up to remind me that I need to prepare, and I can leverage that anxious energy to act and work on my presentation.
If the worrying thoughts are present and I’m already prepared for the thing I’m worried about (for example, I have a big presentation coming up and I’ve already prepared for it, but my brain is still anxious because maybe the group is larger than I’ve ever presented to before), then my brain and I will schedule a time for worry. I’ll gently talk to my thoughts and say, “I can see that you’re worried. But there’s nothing we can do right now to prepare any better. So 20 minutes before the presentation starts, then we’ll worry.” And weirdly, my brain then usually stops the nervous thoughts. And then, on the day of the presentation, 20 minutes before the presentation I’ll start feeling the anxiety roll through my body, and I’ll allow it to happen. Because I know that anxiety feels just like excitement in my body. So when I feel the heightened heart rate, the slight shakiness, my brain performs an act of mental alchemy. I tell myself, this isn’t worry or anxiety. This is excitement. My body is producing a heightened energy level so that I’m fully alive and alert and ready to give my very best to the people I’m talking to today. And I swear this works almost every time. By managing my thoughts, I have drastically reduced the amount of worry in my life. Hopefully a sentence or two in this post will help you reduce worry for yourself as well. Don't pay interest on debts that aren't yours.
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Calmly Yours,
Focus to Evolve Team